I've been describing our process here as God requiring baby steps. I personally would prefer to know six steps out what is going to be happening. I like to plan ahead; I like to know what is coming; and while I don't mind a little uncertainty while I learn to trust God, I would really prefer to know exactly what is ahead.
This time around, we didn't know what was ahead. We knew the general outline - we are convinced that God is calling us to Calgary to join in the partnership of ministry at our new church - but the specifics were a little fuzzy. In my naivety, I honestly thought all the details would be taken care of in a couple of months.
Of course, all the details are taken care of. God has so graciously provided a job for Terry, the sale of our house, a place to stay temporarily and a house to buy (and the means to do so). We are so blessed in every aspect of this move. But He didn't do it on my timetable and He asked me to just trust Him on his timetable.
On the way into church last week, a friend commented that every time he saw us recently, something else had changed and come together. So true! But we had three months before this where it felt like nothing was happening. God just kept telling us to take those little baby steps, to move one tiny step at a time and then be in a position of readiness for the next step.
I think Becky really hits the nail on the head when she says,
In the midst of my struggles, I realised that what God desires is a deeper, more intimate relationship with me. I didn’t need to know the specifics of God’s will after all. I could follow along in the darkness, inch by inch by inch, never seeing where it was I was headed, trusting that God would make my feet secure. In a sense, the unknowing, the limbo was killing me – killing my stubborn independence and self-reliance so that I would be forced to throw myself wholeheartedly into the arms of God – his mercy, wisdom and love. And that is true freedom.
My prayer over the past few weeks, especially when I was fearful of what might happen, was "Lord, teach me to trust you." When I would be running over all the possible scenarios in my mind of what could happen next (never positively), I would have to wrench my mind away and pray, "Lord, teach me to trust you."
It brings me back to the verses that have been a particular comfort and encouragement in the past several years,
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
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